Merry Christmas Darling...

 Well its Christmas time again.  I love this time of year.  Being around family and friends, parties and giving gifts.  It’s awesome.  I will say tho yesterday I was knocked down a peg.  I was driving home from work listening to Christmas music and thinking about my nephews Christmas pageant that night.  The song “Merry Christmas Darling” came on the radio and I started to sing along.  It’s one of my favorites (especially the Carpenters version).  Before I knew it I was choking back tears trying to sing.  At first it caught me off guard and I thought to myself “why am I so upset?”  I started to think about the words of the song…

 

Merry Christmas Darling

We’re apart that’s true

But I can dream and in my dreams I’m Christmasing with you

 

This Christmas season I am definitely missing my dad. It’s been a little over 2 years since he passed but it doesn’t make it any easier.  I keep thinking of all the things I miss.  For example every year he put up the Christmas lights.  He would make the outline of a tree on the side of the house.  The process usually consisted of one of us girls helping him, it would take forever and there was a lot of cursing.  The year of his passing my husband put up the lights and it took him a fraction of the time.  We were all shocked and a little sad.  I think of how once all his kids were grown he would help my mom clean up on Christmas Eve and go to church with her (even tho he never went when we were kids). I miss singing Christmas carols with him and how he would sing to the dog and change the words.  Don’t get me wrong I have so much to be thankful for and I’m really looking forward to this year and watching James rip open presents, but I just feel like a little bit is missing.  And no amount of holiday cheer is going to bring him back or change my missing him. 

 

I love the song “Merry Christmas Darling” but I think I may not listen to it too much this year.  I will keep it to happy uplifting songs.  But every time I hear it I will think of my dad and wish he were here to see all the holiday cheer.  I do know that wherever he is he is watching and is smiling at his family.

 

 

 

Another sleepless night...

I miss sleep.  It’s as simple as that.  Having 2 young children has robbed me of sleep.  I have never been a great sleeper and for a number of years suffered from some pretty crazy insomnia.  But nothing compares to kids.  From an early age we tried to train James to be a good sleeper and he is.  However lately he has been getting up in the middle of the night.  He wakes up crying and upset which leaves me with 2 options. 1. Calm him down, put him back in his bed and sit with him till he falls back asleep (this can take up to 45 min) or 2. Let him come into bed and sleep with us.  I don’t always have the energy for the first and so I opt for snuggles in bed.  In my2am delirium I think it seems like a good idea but if you have ever slept with a toddler you know they move around like crazy.  Many nights I wake up with his feet in my face or he randomly throws his arms out and hits me.  So needless to say when he comes to bed I either don’t sleep well or land up heading out to the couch. 

 

If dealing with an upset 2 yr old wasn’t enough to ruin my sleep add a 2 month old to the mix.  Beatrice is still getting up every few hours to eat.  If I’m lucky I can get 4 hours consecutively.  During those glorious hours I sleep like the dead.  But as soon as one of the kids starts to fuss my mommy super senses go crazy and wake me up.

 

So one strike against sleep is James, 2 is Beatrice and 3 is my husband.  He snores!!! He didn’t snore when we started dating but over the past 3 years he has started this wonderful habit. I love him but seriously WHAT THE HECK!  He even wakes me up some times when I’m sleeping on the couch.  I love to snuggle with him at night but lately all I want is a room to myself that I can crash in for the night.  If we ever win the lotto I am buying a house with an extra room just for me.  It would have the most comfy bed, Egyptian cotton sheets and soundproof walls. 

 

I feel like a walking zombie most days.  But mamma said there would be days like this…right? I keep looking forward to the day where I can get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  Then again I may not know what to do with myself if I wasn’t tired.  I think maybe I will go to the gym or cook all dinners from scratch or not fall asleep at work.  But who am I kidding I’m not going to get much sleep till the kids are older and even then it’s a crap shoot.  Oh well.  I guess my body will just get use to sleeping less.

 

 

Congratulations it's a blog

So I started a blog.  I’m not really sure why.  Maybe it’s because I have 2 small children and realize that I have neglected their baby books, or maybe the passing of my father has made me want to be able to look back at something, or maybe I just needed to put all the things that run thru my head down on paper. Whatever the reason I really felt the urge to start one.  I’m not a professional writer and I can honestly say my grammar could be way better, so if you read this don’t judge.  I’m just a working mom and wife who is putting it out there for the world to see. 

I guess I should start with a little bit about myself.  My name is Miranda and I’m 31.  I am married to an amazing guy named Chris.  We have two children a boy (2yrs) and a girl (2 months).  So yeah…2 under 2.  How did we manage that you may ask? A total lack of planning.  I love my family and they are fantastic.  Don’t get me wrong there are many times I would love to punch my husband or sell my kids to the circus but they really are great.  And then again who of us wouldn’t want to do those things sometimes.  What else? I live across the street from my mom and my dad passed away 2 years ago from cancer.  I have 2 sisters and a bunch of nieces and nephews.  Oh and I work for an avocado company.  So that’s me in a nutshell.  I’m sure there are tons of other things I could say but to be honest I’m leaving those for a later date. I mean hey, I gotta have some stories to write about.