My father
What can I say about Jim Porter? How does one describe such a full life? Before my dad passed away I once asked him if he was scared or if there was anything left he wanted to do. His answer changed my life. He said “Would I like more time, of course. But I can’t complain about the time that I have had. I had a career that I loved, a great family; I’ve been to Europe a number of times as well as spring training. I have traveled all over the US and Canada. Plus I have spent most summers reading on the beach in Mexico. I would love more time, sure but the time that I have had has been good.” Those words stunned me because they were so true and it was such a great way to look at things. I think of my childhood when recalling what he said. Every summer we would go to Puerto Vallarta and he would bring a ton of books. He would sit by the pool and read while I swam. On a number of occasions I would sit next to him and read as well, just enjoying the time. I think of when he retired and bought the white VW as he got it ready for his trip he would fill me in on all the things he had done to it and his plans for his trek across the US. I remember he spent quite some time on the stereo because as we all know that and trunk size are the most important things about a car. When my dad was around there was always music playing. In the garage he had his records and later the 4 large cd cases that contained all of his favorites. He always had a new song to play for you or a suggestion about an artist. I think both my sisters and I inherited our love of music from my dad. Another thing I know I inherited was the propensity to change the words to song especially if I can put in someone’s name. “Don’t cry for me Mandy Porter” was always a favorite. And as I have gotten older I figured out you can put any name into that song (dad obviously had clued in long before me to that fact). My childhood was spent at every park in the city. I was always told we could go for ice cream but there was always a stop. One particular time that sticks in my memory was when he was explaining the color scheme of playground equipment to me, as a 10 year old I didn’t really care. He explained that everything would be red, green and white. After a brief pause he said there was a large Mexican community who would use the park and he thought they would like that. I remember him smiling an at the time I didn’t really know why but it dawned on me in later years that he always built parks for people to use and that by making it those colors he hoped to make it welcoming to the community. My dad always made it a point to know his audience. As a kid I was his date to many a city function. He could work a room like no one I have ever seen; he gave me my first lesson in it. Dad knew everyone’s name, what they did and information about their families. At home dad was more on the reserved side. He loved to sit on his lazy boy with the dog on his lap and watch TV. Sports, Everyone loves Raymond, Man vs. food, International house hunters just to name a few of his favorites. In the summers you could always find him cleaning the pool or sitting by it reading. He loved his golf and when he retired he played 4 days a week. And growing up every Saturday he would be out in the yard cutting the grass, hosing down the cement, cutting back bushes. He always said he hated yard work but someone had to do it. We all knew that secretly he really enjoyed it. All these things were my dad and so much more. On looking back at his life I realize that he wasn’t just my dad, he didn’t just belong to me and my family. He belonged to the city of Vista. He touched so many people’s lives that he was so much more than just a dad. In his final days I asked him what he wanted for a funeral. He said “I want a party at Brengle Terrace Park. I don’t want people to be sad I just want them to have a good time. If people want to say something fine, but I just want a party.” Maybe that’s why I didn’t really say anything at his funeral. He just wanted a party and I know I probably would have cried if I had tried to say anything. I will miss him every day for the rest of my life but in his memory I try and live by what he said. When it’s my turn to leave this world I hope I can look back on a life of satisfaction just like my dad.
