Well its Christmas time again. I love this time of year. Being around family and friends, parties and giving gifts. It’s awesome. I will say tho yesterday I was knocked down a peg. I was driving home from work listening to Christmas music and thinking about my nephews Christmas pageant that night. The song “Merry Christmas Darling” came on the radio and I started to sing along. It’s one of my favorites (especially the Carpenters version). Before I knew it I was choking back tears trying to sing. At first it caught me off guard and I thought to myself “why am I so upset?” I started to think about the words of the song…
Merry Christmas Darling
We’re apart that’s true
But I can dream and in my dreams I’m Christmasing with you
This Christmas season I am definitely missing my dad. It’s been a little over 2 years since he passed but it doesn’t make it any easier. I keep thinking of all the things I miss. For example every year he put up the Christmas lights. He would make the outline of a tree on the side of the house. The process usually consisted of one of us girls helping him, it would take forever and there was a lot of cursing. The year of his passing my husband put up the lights and it took him a fraction of the time. We were all shocked and a little sad. I think of how once all his kids were grown he would help my mom clean up on Christmas Eve and go to church with her (even tho he never went when we were kids). I miss singing Christmas carols with him and how he would sing to the dog and change the words. Don’t get me wrong I have so much to be thankful for and I’m really looking forward to this year and watching James rip open presents, but I just feel like a little bit is missing. And no amount of holiday cheer is going to bring him back or change my missing him.
I love the song “Merry Christmas Darling” but I think I may not listen to it too much this year. I will keep it to happy uplifting songs. But every time I hear it I will think of my dad and wish he were here to see all the holiday cheer. I do know that wherever he is he is watching and is smiling at his family.
